Freedom....

I had a great day worshipping this morning. I was reminded once again of the freedom that I enjoy because of those who have fought for it. I'm grateful for them. I was also reminded of the freedom that I enjoy in Christ. It's what Jesus came for....to set the captive free. I'm so grateful that Jesus has given me freedom. I'm also grateful that He will never take away that freedom, no matter I do or don't do. My Scripture for this week is found in Isaiah 49:15,16....Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for a child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on my hand...

I'm so grateful to be free. I'm so grateful to loved by God.

Kim

Freedom

Since today was July 4th, I was thinking about freedom this morning. I'm so grateful to be in a country where we have the freedoms that we have here in America. But when I think about freedom, it automatically makes me think of my freedom....freedom from bondage, abuse, addiction. I'm so grateful that today when I woke up, I didn't have to take a drink or a pill to make it through the day. I'm so grateful that tonight, I didn't have to go to bed with an angry, abusive husband. I'm so grateful that I was able to spend the day with my 7 year old playing Wii, reading books, watching cartoons together. I'm grateful that I was able to spend the day with my parents and celebrate my mother's birthday(at RedLobster!!!). I'm grateful that I'm sober and can enjoy these simple things in life.

I was reading in the Psalms tonight. Verse 73 says, You made me; You created me. Now give me the sense to follow Your commands. (NLT)

Today I'm a blessed woman because I'm walking in freedom and victory. The reason I'm experiencing God's blessing today is because I'm walking in obedience. I pray that I will continue to have the sense to follow God's commands.

Kim

Freedom and Victory

I've had a good week. My 7 year old son had his first week out of school. We had fun together. We saw the new Narnia movie with friends. That was fun. We slept late. We laid in bed and watched TV together. He's growing so fast and I want to enjoy every moment with him that I can.

Last week, I claimed Psalm 32:7 for my life...For You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

I'm grateful that God is my hiding place. I'm grateful that he protects me and gives me victory. After a time of defeat, God brought me back to a place a safety and freedom and victory. For that, I'm grateful.

This week my verse is Psalm 32:8...The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

This is such a wonderful promise. I'm always talking about doing the next right thing. This week, I will trust God that He is leading me down the BEST pathway for my life. I'm believing that He will advise me and watch over me. Even if things seem scary and seemingly hopeless, I will still believe. God, help me to believe. Help me to not give up. Help to not give in to my disease of addiction. Help me to hunger and thirst after You. Help me to crave You.

This is my prayer. I know that as long as I believe God and as long as I don't pick up a drink, things will be fine. If I keep doing the next right thing, I will be able to enjoy my son all summer long.

Kim

Sorry about that...

For some unknown reason, my blog decided to post on its own. I'll just continue on...

I stopped doing the "next right thing." I've been so sick with myself. I haven't been in the Word, I haven't talked to Jesus, I have shut myself off from the people in my life that I love so much. I've been in hiding. It's been a very painful couple of weeks.

Well, as of tonight, I have 2 days sober. I'm starting over....AGAIN. Someone told me that it's not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. That's what I'm doing. I'm getting back up. I've been in the Word tonight. I've been listening to my favorite praise and worship station. I have been fed tonight. God has shown His love to me tonight. He has encouraged me through the music and some wonderful messages on Youtube. The ladies here at the shelter have blessed me.

Right now, I'm living , not day by day, but minute by minute. I'm powerless over this addiction. But I have a God who has the power to set me free once again. I pray that I will start doing the next right thing again.

Kim

I'm at work and it's 1:30 in the morning. I'm waiting on a new client to come into the shelter in moment. Throughout the last year that I've been working here, I've seen so many women and children come and go. I think I have the best job. It's been such a blessing to me. Sharing with these women helped me stay sober many months. In AA, they teach us that in order to keep what we have, we must be willing to give it away. God has been so faithful to me. He has delivered me. I just want to give back what has been given to me. I'll keep on doing just that as long as I'm allowed to.

The last 2 weeks has been a struggle for me. I've taken my eyes off of Jesus. I quit doing what I know to do. I've spent the last 15 months doing what I know will keep me sober. I stopped. I let the worries, the deep deep hurt in my heart, take my eyes off Jesus. I stopped doing the "

I'm Trying...

I haven't posted in awhile. I really haven't had anything to say. I've sat down several times to type, but just couldn't make anything happen. Hopefully I'm not the only one who has this problem. I have SO much going on in my life right now. It's really very overwhelming sometimes. I think most of the time I'm strong and hold up well, but then some days, it seems to be more than I can bear. Another reason I haven't posted anything is b/c it's hard to put yourself out there and not know who might read these thoughts in my head. It seems like my mind has been a dangerous place lately. I guess I've just kept these thoughts in my own head. I still have nothing to say really, but I wanted to at least put something down tonight.

I have been reading lots of different blogs to find encouragement. It's helpful sometimes...most of the time. I don't really have anyone to tell my thoughts to totally at this point.

Anyway, I will keep going. I'll keep trying to stay strong.

Kim

SCHOOL IS OUT!!

I am so excited today that I can hardly stand it. I'M THROUGH WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SUMMER!!! I actually feel very weird this morning. I feel like I should be doing something....studying, reading, worrying about a test or SOMETHING. I think I will enjoy myself for about a week. I'm going to be lazy, watch some Lifetime, eat with some friends, go to the movie with my daughter. I think I deserve it.

Kim